04
Mar 14

Gravity

I didn’t write this up for a while. I just chalked it up as a really bad movie and a waste of talent and forgot about it. Then some gombeen gave that dross seven Oscars, so I wanted to rant a bit. Who gives out Oscars for proving that with only an obscene amount of money and a team of personal trainers, dieticians, professional lighting experts, veteran cameramen and a ground-breaking special effects team, a fifty-year-old woman can look good in her pants?

There were one or two good parts. I liked the effects. Sod that, I loved the effects, they were outstanding. I liked that someone paid huge amounts of attention to detail in the props (seriously, read any of the commentary by astronauts who worked on the ISS, they’re impressed by the level of detail there). The effects and the set design are hands-down the best I’ve ever seen in a space movie. Go find the guy who did the set design and give him another Oscar and then find the girl who did the effects and give her the Oscar for the next three years, their work was that good (and yes, I know, teams, those are metaphorical guys and girls I’m talking about). But the director and the writer? They took a fresh steaming bowel movement all over the entire thing by ignoring basic physics to shoehorn a really awful plot into a really great set of filmmaking tools and sets. Why didn’t they just take any one of the several hundred other books that have been written in the last few decades that had “space disaster” as a plot and where the math and reality actually didn’t take a day off? Go get the ones that won Hugos or Nebula awards if you think the search would be too difficult or time-consuming. There are hundreds of great plots and huge amounts of great writing out there that would do those sets and effects proud.

But this film? This plot, and this acting?
Utter and total crap. Crap with a capital shite.

What was wrong with it?
Well…
Continue reading “Gravity” »


22
May 13

Rd5. The shame :(

Online game on chess.com. Pawn and Rook up against a player ranked rather a bit higher than me, and not by accident so I’m feeling pretty smug.

[pgn eo=t initialHalfmove=65 autoplayMode=none h=800]

[Event "Chess.com Open - Round 1"]
[Site "Chess.com"]
[Date "2013.05.02"]
[White "guerocles"]
[Black "mdennehy"]
[Result "1-0"]
[WhiteElo "1461"]
[BlackElo "1260"]
[TimeControl "1 in 3 days"]
[Termination "guerocles won by resignation"]

1.e4 c6 2.Nf3 d5 3.exd5 cxd5 4.d4 Nc6 5.Bb5 Qa5+ 6.Nc3 Nf6 7.O-O Bd7 8.Bxc6 bxc6 9.Bd2 Bg4 10.Re1 e6
11.a3 Be7 12.Ne4 Qb5 13.Nxf6+ Bxf6 14.Bc3 O-O 15.b4 Qc4 16.Qd3 Bf5 17.Qxc4 dxc4 18.Ne5 Bxc2 19.Rac1 Bd3 20.Nxd3 cxd3
21.Rcd1 Rfe8 22.Rxd3 Be7 23.Rg3 Bd6 24.Rxg7+ Kxg7 25.d5+ Kg8 26.dxc6 Rac8 27.b5 Bxa3 28.Re4 f5 29.Rd4 Bc5 30.Rd1 Red8
31.Rxd8+ Rxd8 32.Kf1 Rd1+ 33.Ke2 Rd5 34.c7 Bb6 35.c8=Q+ Rd8 36.Qxe6+ Kf8 37.Bb4+ Kg7 38.Qe7+ Kg6 39.f4 Rc8 40.Qg5+ Kf7
41.Qxf5+ Ke8 1-0

[/pgn]

Black to move and lose the game – and yes, that’s right, Rd5. Because Rd8 and protecting against a promoted pawn is for suckers who like winning and other sordid practices…

This was one game where I didn’t need to see the analysis, but I looked anyway because I wanted to see if I could make the computer say “Oh for ****s sakes you moron, you just lost the game…”

[pgn eo=t initialHalfmove=65 autoplayMode=none h=800]

[Event "Chess.com Open - Round 1"]
[Site "Chess.com"]
[Date "2013.05.02"]
[White ""]
[Black ""]
[ECO "B10"]
[ChesscomGameID "69303958"]
[Annotator "Chess.com Computer Analysis"]
[Result "1-0"]
[WhiteElo "1461"]
[BlackElo "1260"]
[TimeControl "1 in 3 days"]
[Termination ""]
{Inaccuracies(?!): 5 = 12.8% of moves | Mistakes(?): 5 = 12.8% of moves | Blunders(??): 4 = 10.3% of moves}

1. e4 {(Book Move)} c6 $6 {(0.84) INACCURACY – Perhaps better was 1… e6}
({BEST MOVE (0.28)} 1… e6 2. d4 d5 3. Nc3 Nf6 4. Bg5 dxe4 5. Nxe4 Be7 6. Bxf6 gxf6 7. c3 $10)
({INACCURACY (0.84)} 1… c6 2. d4 d5 3. e5 c5 4. Nf3 Nc6 5. Bb5 cxd4 6. Qxd4 e6 7. Nc3 Ne7 8. Qa4 Nf5 9. Bg5 $16)
2. Nf3 {(0.68)} d5 {(0.68)}
3. exd5 {(0.32)} cxd5 {(0.2)}
4. d4 {(0.16)} Nc6 {(0.28)}
5. Bb5 {(0.2)} Qa5+ $6 {(0.72) INACCURACY – With that last move you went from roughly equal to having a worse position. Your best continuation was 5… Nf6}
({BEST MOVE (0.2)} 5… Nf6 6. O-O e6 7. Be3 Bd7 8. c4 Be7 9. Nc3 O-O 10. Ne5 dxc4 11. Bxc4 Rc8 12. Bd3 Nb4 13. Be2 Nfd5 14. a3 $10)
({INACCURACY (0.72)} 5… Qa5+ 6. Nc3 Nf6 7. Ne5 Bd7 8. Nxd7 Nxd7 9. Bd2 Rc8 10. a4 Qd8 11. Nxd5 Nxd4 12. Ne3 e6 13. O-O Bd6 $16)
6. Nc3 {(0.84)} Nf6 {(0.72)}
7. O-O {(0.4)} Bd7 {(0.44) ALTERNATIVE – The game is now roughly equal. }
({BEST MOVE (0.4)} 7… e6 8. Ne5 Bd7 9. Nxd7 Nxd7 10. Qg4 h5 11. Qf4 Be7 12. Be3 Rc8 13. a3 O-O 14. Rfe1 Nf6 15. f3 Qb6 16. Rad1 $14)
({ALTERNATIVE (0.44)} 7… Bd7 8. Bg5 e6 9. Bxf6 gxf6 10. Qc1 Bb4 11. Bxc6 Bxc6 12. Qh6 Bxc3 13. bxc3 $14)
8. Bxc6 {(0.16)} bxc6 $6 {(0.92) INACCURACY – With that last move you went from roughly equal to having a worse position. Your best continuation was 8… Bxc6}
({BEST MOVE (0.24)} 8… Bxc6 9. Ne5 e6 10. Qd3 Bb4 11. Qg3 O-O 12. Bg5 Nh5 13. Qh3 Bxc3 14. bxc3 Nf6 15. Nxc6 bxc6 16. Bxf6 $10)
({INACCURACY (0.92)} 8… bxc6 9. Ne5 e6 10. Bg5 Be7 11. Nxd7 Kxd7 12. Rb1 Kc8 13. Re1 h5 14. Qd3 Rb8 15. Bf4 $16)
9. Bd2 {(0.36)} Bg4 {(0.24)}
10. Re1 {(0.24)} e6 {(0.2)}
11. a3 {(0.16)} Be7 {(0.24)}
12. Ne4 {(-0.76)} Qb5 $6 {(-0.28) INACCURACY – Perhaps better was 12… Qb6}
({BEST MOVE (-0.8)} 12… Qb6 13. Nxf6+ Bxf6 14. Bb4 Bxf3 15. Qxf3 Bxd4 16. c3 Bc5 17. Bxc5 Qxc5 18. b4 Qb6 19. Re3 O-O 20. Qg3 a5 $17)
({INACCURACY (-0.28)} 12… Qb5 13. Nxf6+ Bxf6 14. Bc3 O-O 15. h3 Bf5 16. Ne5 Rfd8 17. Ng4 Bg5 18. Ne5 Bf4 19. a4 Qb7 20. Nd3 Bd6 $10)
13. Nxf6+ {(-0.32)} Bxf6 {(-0.32)}
14. Bc3 {(-0.32)} O-O {(-0.36)}
15. b4 {(-0.88)} Qc4 {(-0.88)}
16. Qd3 {(-0.88)} Bf5 $2 {(0.08) MISTAKE – You slipped from a better position to an equal one. You should have played 16… Qxd3}
({BEST MOVE (-0.88)} 16… Qxd3 17. cxd3 Bxf3 18. gxf3 Rfb8 19. Rab1 Kf8 20. f4 g6 21. Kg2 Ke7 22. Kf3 a6 23. Rg1 Kd7 $17)
({MISTAKE (0.08)} 16… Bf5 17. Qxc4 dxc4 18. Ra2 Rfd8 19. Ne5 Rac8 20. f3 h5 21. a4 h4 22. Re2 Bxe5 23. Rxe5 $10)
17. Qxc4 {(0.08)} dxc4 {(0.08)}
18. Ne5 {(-0.16)} Bxc2 {(-0.16)}
19. Rac1 {(-0.92)} Bd3 $6 {(-0.24) INACCURACY – Perhaps better was 19… Bb3}
({BEST MOVE (-0.8)} 19… Bb3 20. Nd7 Rfd8 21. Nxf6+ gxf6 22. f4 Kg7 23. Re3 Rd5 24. Rh3 Rad8 25. Kf2 h5 26. Re3 Kg6 27. Rg3+ Kf5 $17)
({INACCURACY (-0.24)} 19… Bd3 20. Nxd3 cxd3 21. Rcd1 Rfd8 22. Rxd3 Rd7 23. Rdd1 Rd5 24. Rc1 Rb8 25. Rcd1 g6 26. Re3 $10)
20. Nxd3 {(-0.24)} cxd3 {(-0.32)}
21. Rcd1 {(-0.32)} Rfe8 {(-0.24)}
22. Rxd3 {(-0.16)} Be7 {(-0)}
23. Rg3 {(0)} Bd6 {(0.08)}
24. Rxg7+ $4 {(-5.65) BLUNDER – Lucky you! Your opponent blundered! The best move was 24. Rge3}
({BEST MOVE (0.12)} 24. Rge3 Red8 25. g3 Bc7 26. Rc1 Bb6 27. Kg2 Rac8 28. Re4 Rd5 29. f3 Rcd8 30. Bb2 Rc8 $10)
({BLUNDER (-5.65)} 24. Rxg7+ Kxg7 25. Re4 f6 26. g3 Rad8 27. Kg2 Kf7 28. Rh4 Kg6 29. Rg4+ Kf5 30. Rh4 Rd7 31. Kf3 $19)
24… Kxg7 {(-5.65)}
25. d5+ {(-6.22)} Kg8 $2 {(-5.57) MISTAKE – That was a mistake. Much better was 25… Kg6}
({BEST MOVE (-6.22)} 25… Kg6 26. dxc6 Rec8 27. b5 a6 28. b6 Rxc6 29. Bd4 Rb8 30. Kf1 Bxa3 31. Rb1 e5 32. Be3 a5 33. Rb5 Bb4 34. Rxe5 Rbxb6 35. Rg5+ Kf6 36. Rh5 Ra6 37. Rxh7 $19)
({MISTAKE (-5.57)} 25… Kg8 26. dxc6 Rec8 27. b5 a6 28. b6 Rxc6 29. Bd4 Rb8 30. g3 Bxa3 31. Kg2 a5 32. Kf3 Bb4 33. Re4 Rc2 34. Rg4+ Kf8 35. Rh4 $19)
26. dxc6 {(-5.81)} Rac8 $2 {(-3.83) MISTAKE – That was a mistake. Much better was 26… Rec8}
({BEST MOVE (-5.81)} 26… Rec8 27. b5 a6 28. b6 Rxc6 29. Bd4 Bxa3 30. Kf1 Rd8 31. Be3 Bb2 32. f3 $19)
({MISTAKE (-3.83)} 26… Rac8 27. b5 Bxa3 28. Bf6 a6 29. Ra1 axb5 30. Rxa3 Rxc6 31. Kf1 b4 32. Rb3 e5 33. Bg5 Rc4 34. Bd2 Rb8 35. Ke2 Kg7 $19)
27. b5 {(-4.04)} Bxa3 {(-4)}
28. Re4 $2 {(-5.05) MISTAKE – Your opponent made a mistake! Better was 28. Bf6}
({BEST MOVE (-4)} 28. Bf6 a6 29. Ra1 axb5 30. Rxa3 Rxc6 31. Kf1 b4 32. Rb3 e5 33. Bg5 Rc4 34. Bd2 Rb8 35. Ke2 Kg7 36. Kd3 Rg4 $19)
({MISTAKE (-5.05)} 28. Re4 Red8 29. Kf1 Rd5 30. Ra4 Bd6 31. Ra5 Bc5 32. Ra4 Kf8 33. Ra1 Bb6 34. Rb1 Ke7 35. Ke2 $19)
28… f5 $2 {(-4.44) MISTAKE – That was a mistake. Much better was 28… Rb8}
({BEST MOVE (-5.69)} 28… Rb8 29. Re5 Bd6 30. Rg5+ Kf8 31. f4 h6 32. Rh5 Bxf4 33. Kf2 Ke7 34. g3 Bc7 35. Bd4 f5 36. Bc5+ Bd6 37. Bxa7 Rxb5 38. Rxh6 Rb2+ $19)
({MISTAKE (-4.44)} 28… f5 29. Rd4 Red8 30. g3 Kf7 31. Kg2 Bc5 32. Rh4 Kg6 33. Bb4 Bxb4 $19)
29. Rd4 {(-4.76)} Bc5 {(-4.88)}
30. Rd1 $2 {(-6.38) MISTAKE – Your opponent made a mistake! Better was 30. Rd7}
({BEST MOVE (-5.37)} 30. Rd7 a6 31. c7 axb5 32. Be5 Ra8 33. h3 b4 34. Kf1 Rec8 35. f4 h5 36. Ke2 Kf8 37. Kd3 Ke8 38. Rg7 Ra2 $19)
({MISTAKE (-6.38)} 30. Rd1 a6 31. Rd7 axb5 32. c7 e5 33. Ba5 b4 34. Rd5 Bd4 35. Rb5 Kf7 36. Kf1 Bc3 37. Ke2 Rg8 38. g3 Ke6 39. Kd3 $19)
30… Red8 $2 {(-5.33) MISTAKE – That was a mistake. Much better was 30… Rb8}
({BEST MOVE (-6.98)} 30… Rb8 31. Rb1 a6 32. g3 Rxb5 33. Ra1 Rc8 34. Rxa6 Bb6 35. Kg2 Rxc6 36. Bd4 Kf7 37. Kf3 e5 $19)
({MISTAKE (-5.33)} 30… Red8 31. Rc1 Kf7 32. Kf1 Rd5 33. Ke2 Rg8 34. g3 Bb6 35. Rb1 Rgd8 36. h3 Rc5 37. Rb3 $19)
31. Rxd8+ {(-5.61)} Rxd8 {(-5.89)}
32. Kf1 {(-6.62)} Rd1+ $4 {(-0) BLUNDER – Oh no – a blunder! You should have played 32… Bd6}
({BEST MOVE (-6.74)} 32… Bd6 33. Bd4 Rb8 34. Bxa7 Rxb5 35. Ke2 Bc7 36. g3 Ra5 37. Bd4 Ra6 38. f4 Rxc6 39. Kd3 $19)
({BLUNDER (-0)} 32… Rd1+ 33. Ke2 Rd8 34. Kf1 $10)
33. Ke2 {(-5.01)} Rd5 $4 {(8.08) BLUNDER – Oops! That was a serious blunder. From equal to losing in a flash. Best was 33… Rd8}
({BEST MOVE (-5.01)} 33… Rd8 34. Be5 Kf7 35. Bg3 Bb6 36. Bf4 Rd5 37. c7 Rc5 38. Bd6 Rc1 39. Bf4 Rc3 40. Be5 Rc2+ 41. Kd3 Bxc7 42. Kxc2 Bxe5 43. Kd3 $19)
({BLUNDER (8.08)} 33… Rd5 34. c7 Kf7 35. c8=Q Be7 36. Qb7 Kf8 37. Qxa7 Rxb5 38. Qa8+ Kf7 39. Qh8 Rc5 40. Qxh7+ Ke8 41. Qh8+ Kd7 42. Qd4+ Bd6 43. h4 e5 44. Qa4+ Ke6 $18)
34. c7 {(8.4)} Bb6 $4 {(11.59) BLUNDER – Oh no – a blunder! You should have played 34… Kf7}
({BEST MOVE (8.4)} 34… Kf7 35. c8=Q Be7 36. Qb7 Kf8 37. Qxa7 Rxb5 38. Qa8+ Kf7 39. Qh8 Rc5 40. Qxh7+ Kf8 41. h4 Rc4 42. h5 Rg4 43. Kf3 Rg5 44. g3 Rg4 45. h6 Bd6 $18)
({BLUNDER (11.59)} 34… Bb6 35. c8=Q+ Kf7 36. Qb7+ Ke8 37. Bf6 Rd7 38. Qc8+ Bd8 39. Bxd8 Rxd8 40. Qxe6+ Kf8 41. Qxf5+ Ke8 42. Qh5+ Ke7 43. Qxh7+ Kd6 44. Qxa7 Re8+ 45. Kd3 Rg8 46. Qd4+ Ke7 $18)
35. c8=Q+ {(11.59)} Rd8 $4 {(97.37) BLUNDER – Oh no – a blunder! You should have played 35… Kf7}
({BEST MOVE (11.59)} 35… Kf7 36. Qb7+ Ke8 37. Bf6 Rd7 38. Qc8+ Kf7 39. Qxd7+ Kxf6 40. Qxh7 Bc5 41. Qh8+ Kf7 42. Qc8 Bb6 43. Qd7+ Kf6 44. h4 f4 45. Qd6 Kf5 46. h5 Kg5 47. Qxe6 Kxh5 48. Qf5+ Kh6 $18)
({BLUNDER (97.37)} 35… Rd8 36. Qxe6+ Kf8 37. Qf6+ Ke8 38. Bb4 Rd2+ 39. Kxd2 Be3+ 40. fxe3 Kd7 41. Qxf5+ Kc7 42. Qxh7+ Kb6 43. Qd7 a5 44. bxa6 Kxa6 45. Qc6+ Ka7 46. Kd3 $18)
36. Qxe6+ {(+Mat11)} Kf8
37. Bb4+ $2 {(18.46) MISTAKE – Your opponent made a mistake! Better was 37. Qf6+}
({BEST MOVE (+Mat10)} 37. Qf6+ Ke8 38. Bb4 Rd2+ 39. Kxd2 Kd7 40. Qe7+ Kc8 41. Qe6+ Kc7 42. Bd6+ Kd8 43. Qe7+ Kc8 44. Qe8+ Bd8 45. Qc6+ Bc7 46. Qxc7# $18)
({MISTAKE (18.46)} 37. Bb4+ Kg7 38. Qe7+ Kg6 39. Bc3 Rd4 40. Qe6+ Kg5 41. Qe3+ Rf4 42. h4+ Kg6 43. Qxf4 h6 44. h5+ Kf7 45. Qxf5+ Ke8 46. Qe6+ Kd8 47. Qxh6 $18)
37… Kg7 {(94.35)}
38. Qe7+ $2 {(20.52) MISTAKE – Your opponent made a mistake! Better was 38. Bc3+}
({BEST MOVE (105.83)} 38. Bc3+ Bd4 39. Bxd4+ Rxd4 40. Qe5+ Kf8 41. Qxd4 f4 42. Qxa7 f3+ 43. gxf3 h5 44. Qc5+ Ke8 45. Qxh5+ Kd7 46. Qf7+ Kd6 47. b6 Ke5 48. b7 Kd6 49. b8=Q+ Kc5 $18)
({MISTAKE (20.52)} 38. Qe7+ Kg6 39. Bc3 Rd4 40. Qe6+ Kg5 41. Qe3+ f4 42. Qe5+ Kg6 43. Bxd4 Kf7 44. Qxf4+ Ke6 45. Qe3+ Kd7 46. Bxb6 $18)
38… Kg6 {(25.61)}
39. f4 $4 {(26.06) BLUNDER – Lucky you! Your opponent blundered! The best move was 39. Qe6+}
({BEST MOVE (93.35)} 39. Qe6+ Kg5 40. Be7+ Kf4 41. Bxd8 Bxd8 42. Qd6+ Kg4 43. Qxd8 h6 44. Qd4+ f4 45. Qxa7 f3+ 46. gxf3+ Kh3 47. Qd7+ Kxh2 48. Qd6+ Kg2 $18)
({BLUNDER (26.06)} 39. f4 h6 40. Bc3 Bd4 41. Bxd4 Rxd4 42. Qe8+ Kf6 43. Qe5+ Kg6 44. Qxd4 Kh5 45. Qxa7 Kg4 46. b6 Kxf4 $18)
39… Rc8 {(+Mat09) FORCED_MATE – Now checkmate is inevitable. Your best defense was 39… h5}
({BEST MOVE (28.72)} 39… h5 40. Bc3 Rd4 41. Qe6+ Kg7 42. Bxd4+ Bxd4 43. Qd7+ Kf8 44. Qxd4 h4 45. Qxa7 h3 46. gxh3 Ke8 47. b6 Kf8 48. b7 Kg7 49. b8=Q+ $18)
({FORCED_MATE (+Mat09)} 39… Rc8 40. Qe6+ Kg7 41. Qxc8 Bd4 42. Qf8+ Kg6 43. Qe8+ Kf6 44. Be7+ Kg7 45. Qf8+ Kg6 46. Qg8+ Bg7 47. Qe8+ Kh6 48. Bg5# $18)
40. Qg5+ $2 {(98.42) MISTAKE – Your opponent made a mistake! Better was 40. Qe6+}
({BEST MOVE (+Mat09)} 40. Qe6+ Kg7 41. Qxc8 Bd4 42. Qf8+ Kg6 43. Qe8+ Kf6 44. Be7+ Kg7 45. Qf8+ Kg6 46. Qg8+ Bg7 47. Qe8+ Kh6 48. Bg5# $18)
({MISTAKE (98.42)} 40. Qg5+ Kf7 41. Qxf5+ Kg7 42. Qxc8 Ba5 43. Qd7+ Kg6 44. Bxa5 h6 45. Qxa7 Kf6 46. Bb4 Kg6 47. g4 h5 $18)
40… Kf7
41. Qxf5+ {(108.75)} Ke8 {(+Mat02) WHITE WINS – Play might have continued…}
({BEST MOVE (108.75)} 41… Kg7 42. Qxc8 Bd4 43. Qd7+ Kg6 44. Qxd4 h6 45. Qxa7 h5 46. b6 h4 47. Qe7 Kf5 48. b7 Kxf4 49. Qxh4+ Ke5 50. Qh5+ Kd4 51. b8=Q $18)
({FASTER_MATE (+Mat02)} 41… Ke8 42. Qe6+ Kd8 43. Qe7# $18)
({CONTINUATION (+Mat02)} 41… Ke8 42. Qe6+ Kd8 43. Qe7# $18)
1-0

[/pgn]


13
May 13

Heh.

Well, I thought it was worth a grin at least…

Engineers Ireland membership pack humour


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